What Just Happened?
by FanNotANerd
Summary: Link accidentally sees a little bit more of Faron Woods than he, or the game, for that matter, ever intended. Based on a glitch, so you know it's good.


**This story is based on one version of the Early Master Sword glitch in Twilight Princess. For those of you who don't know, when you first meet the shadow beasts, if you do the energy field thing in the right place, and catch only one of the shadow beasts in it, you'll jump past in onto the raise area. If you run through that, you'll glitch into the Sacred Grove, where the game will play out as normal. This allows you to get the Master Sword before even completing the first dungeon.**

Every sound hurt his oversensitive ears, his fur itched, walking on four legs was _way_ more difficult than it seemed, and he was pretty sure he had fleas.

Ah, the life of a Hylian who was now stuck in the form of a wolf.

Link decided to take his simmering anger out on the nearest shadow beast, and jumped at it, jaws snapping. Another one already lay on the ground, twitching feebly as its greenish-black blood flowed from a jagged rent in its neck.

Without any further hesitation, Link fastened his powerful jaws in the creature's throat, tearing in out with a flick of his neck. He jumped back down, spitting the blood out of his mouth. So far, he couldn't really tell if the taste more resembled bacon grease or rat crap. Either way, it was disgusting.

He sat back, pawing at his tongue in a vain attempt to get the taste off it. Why, oh why did wolves have to have such heightened senses?

It was just then that the last shadow beast, which he had completely forgotten about, reared back and let out a piercing shriek that cut through his sensitive ears and drilled straight into his brain.

Link gritted his teeth and hunched down, waiting for it to stop. But when it did, to his horror, the shadow beasts he'd killed not ten seconds ago started getting back up! "What the hell?" he barked (Or at least a rough translation. He was barking, after all.)

Losing his temper, he rammed into the closest shadow beast, knocking it to the ground. Snarling, he raked his claws across the thing's face, leaving four parallel gouges. "Stay dead this time!" he growled (literally) before engaging the other two. And, like the last time, he killed two, and the third decided it would be a good time to scream its lungs out.

"What are you doing?" Midna asked, contempt clear in her voice. "If you leave one alive, it's just going to use that cry to bring them back!"

_Oh, really? _Link thought. _You got anything a bit more useful? Like what the fuck I should do about it?_

Midna sighed. "I guess I have to do _everything_ for you. Get them close enough, and I'll expand an energy field."

Link snorted and went to do as she said. Link approached one, and, true to her word, Midna created a blackish-orange field of energy that spread over the ground. Unfortunately, her concentration was broken for a split second by a bit of pollen that flew up her nose.

The backlash of energy catapulted Link past the shadow beast and onto a nearby ledge. After realizing what had happened, Link ran up to higher ground, determined to put as much distance between him and the shadow beasts as possible. So focused was he on getting away that he didn't notice the yawning chasm that lay just beyond a screen of vegetation. In fact, he barely even noticed he was falling until Midna screamed in terror and jumped off his back.

"Son of a biiiiiitch," he yelled as he fell, his life flashing before his eyes. So this was it. His adventure had barely even begun, and now it was already over in an embarrassing fall-

He landed hard on a bridge strung across he chasm, the impact knocking the wind out of him. Link slowly got up, shaking his head, and looked around. Great. Now he was stuck on a bridge in the middle of what any map would call Freaking Nowhere.

Whatever. Might as well press on and see if he could figure out where he was.

So obviously, the absolute last thing he expected was to be attacked by a bunch of wooden voodoo puppets as he ventured into a silent grove. "What the fuck?" he yelled, jumping back. Panicking, he jumped straight at them, thinking that maybe he could bowl right through.

In reality, it did more than that. The unfortunate target puppet broke in half as Link's weight smashed into it, and the shattered fragments smashed the rest of them. Link kept going, legs pumping furiously. In the corner of his mind, he barely registered an odd buzzing sound.

Just as he noticed the sound, four more puppets dropped down from nowhere and attacked. More irritated than threatened now, Link dispatched the lot of them with a few quick swipes. Only to hear that annoying buzz, and be confronted with more.

Link looked around for the source of the buzz. Far up in a tree, a weird elf-thing was dancing around. And in it's left hand was something that distinctly resembled some kind of four-mouthed kazoo.

_Him! Kill him!_ Snarling, Link bounded up the tree, to where the elf continued dancing, completely oblivious. With a loud bark, Link charged, his claws ripping through the elf's flesh as if it were made of dead leaves.

And yet, it seemed completely unaffected. It just got right back up and disappeared with an infuriating giggle.

The chase continued for a good five minutes, every passing second making Link more frustrated. Finally, it vanished for good, leaving with a cheery "That was fun! Hee hee hee!".

Link, panting, sat down, utterly defeated. _This must be hell,_ he concluded. _Nowhere else would subject me to this kind of torture._

He got up and resigned himself to moving on. Assuming that this wasn't hell, at the end would probably be something worth the torture. At least, there had better be.

After one of the most painful puzzles he had ever had to solve, Link finally entered the heart of the grove, where a fancy-looking sword was jammed in a stone pedestal.

_A sword?_ Link thought. _After all that, all I get is a fucking _sword?

And, to make matters worse, as soon as he approached it, the sword decided to create the world's most powerful windstorm. Snarling, Link pushed forward, enraged to be denied his prize, no matter how crappy it was.

So focused was he that he didn't realize he'd returned to human form until he overbalanced and fell flat on his face. Thoroughly confused, he ran his hands over his body. _Okay, this is weird._

And, come to think of it, there were no Twilight particles floating around. He didn't recall leaving the Twilight.

He turned around. Midna was examining a strange, orange-and black crystal that was hovering an inch or so above her hand. "This is the embodiment of the curse Zant cast upon you," she started explaining.

Link gaped. "What? What curse? Who's Zant?"

Midna frowned. "Didn't I tell you?"

She did a double-take at the crystal. "Wait. Zant cursed you? Why are we here?"

"That's what I want to know!" Link exploded. "Why are we outside the Twilight? Why did I just fight through a bunch of voodoo-puppet things? And what the hell is with this sword?"

The sword in question was now pulsing gently, sending out waves of warmth. Link stood back, folding his arms. "I'm not touching it," he stated. "I don't even know what we're doing here. I haven't even done anything yet!"

Midna, of course, was having some difficulty following. In her mind, they'd already freed all of Hyrule from the Twilight, she had almost died, and they were here to break the curse on Link. Except none of that had happened yet.

Due to this completely defying any concept of logic, Midna did the only thing she could. She froze in a partially pixilated state. Link frowned, waving a hand in front of her face. She didn't respond.

Just then, the entire landscape dissolved into a field of solid, endless blue. Link spun around, completely panicked. Line after line of indecipherable code started appearing in front of his eyes, most of which saying the same thing: Logic_overrun Error 15.

Link looked around, to where more and more code was appearing. Finally, a blinking cursor appeared. Debug? it asked.

Link stared at it for a few seconds. "Well, fuck." he finally said.

**End**


End file.
